Sunday, March 29, 2009

A FLIPPITY FLOPPITY F#CK YOU TO THE WORLD


Soon the warm summer breeze will be floating into Chicago and caressing bare midriffs, clear bra straps, and uncovered knees. The warm weather brings with it a host of interesting fashion possibilities. The flip flop, or the ‘foot fuck you’, will once again make its presence known as the days draw longer and the sun’s rays cascade across the Midwestern landscape.

I enjoy footwear. I appreciate the Nike high-top, the Frye boot, a high heel, or even an occasional wingtip. The flip flop, on the other hand, is by far the most pugnacious of the foot covering devices. It’s an arrogant little piece of compressed rubber and plastic. I must be honest and state I have a profound dislike for this piece of footwear when worn by bros rather than hoes. The flip flop's purpose as a functional beach sandal, or shower accessory has recently been over shadowed by its ever increasing popularity among those involved with high minded douchebaggery. Maybe it’s my aversion to the sight of another man’s toes. Maybe it’s because the flip flop’s casual fippity floppity sound reminds me that I live in a city filled with idiots. Maybe I don’t think the world needs casual, semi-nude, foot wear on men. I know there are quite a few flip flop enthusiasts out there, flipping and flopping into dank night clubs, punk shows, IKEA, and the local Trader Joes. It pains me that I can’t really defend my opinions about a shoe that is so comfortable and so easy going, but for some reason, makes me feel like I’m receiving a ‘foot fuck you’ every time I see one flopping down the street. It’s quite a conundrum for sure, and yet another reason to look forward to Christmas.


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5 comments:

  1. Haha wow. I suddenly feel strangely ashamed of myself. I LIVE in flip flops. It's so strange - I love shoes...I love looking at them, drawing them etc etc BUT I don't like wearing them. I don't know why. I generally spend most of my day barefoot and then when I need to go out I just throw on my flip flops and off I go.

    I think it's just one of those things where lazy clothing options have just suddenly become socially acceptable and you go with it.

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  2. Kelly, You seem like a lovely woman, and I have no doubt that your feet are also lovely. Flip flops on women are fine, it's like a casual high heel for you guys, it's flip flops on men that bother me. Is that sexist? Yes, but I hate men's feet. We should cover up in social situations. At a pool or the beach, men can flop it up, but when downtown, toss on some Topsiders.

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  3. I need to find a girl who is barefoot most of the day. That is just plain wonderful.

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  4. I am old enough to appriciate this post! I returned to college a few semesters ago to finish a degree and over the winter months the young man that sat near me in a Science class kept complaining about being cold. After a few weeks (ok, I'm a mom, fashion is not my forte anymore) I looked him over good and realized he was wearing flip flops and I said, "XXX try putting shoes on your feet and see if that don't warm you up" and he informed me that it wasn't in style ... at this point I did an under desk survey and found a large percent of the class in flip flops (I was wearing a pair of work boots, lol)

    Thought I'd share.

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